So, for those of you who know me, I'm not a very patient person. I've gotten better over the years, but, I haven't really mastered the art quite yet. So, I was sitting in my little cubicle at work listening to the white noise and counting down the minutes to my next potty break. Now that I'm pregnant, I can get up as much as I want to go to the restroom without weird stares. Anyway, sitting there, watching the clock blink when I overhead a conversation in the corridor next to mine. A woman (who is also 18 weeks pregnant) was telling her friend about a place in San Antonio where you can get a sonogram to determine the sex of your baby before your 20-week check-up. Before I even realized it, my head popped up so fast that it was too late to act like I wasn't listening to the conversation. Well, 15 minutes later (one potty break) I had called the place and booked my sonogram. Then it came. I started shaking and my heart started racing. I knew I was excited, but was I scared too? What was there to be afraid of? Well- this is it. I know I'm pregnant. It was a huge surprise when, not only did I pee on a positive stick, but the baby hung around long enough for me to see his little heart pumping. Until now, I know I have a baby growing inside of me. But, now that I will be finding out if this is a little girl or boy, I'm a little terrified. This is going to change my life as I know it. Am I going to be dealing with curly hair and barbie doll accessories, or am I going to have to throw cheerios in the toilet and hope that he has aim? So much is going through my head- it's such a big piece of news, and, whether I realize (or acknowledge it) or not, this baby is coming. The holidays are going to fly by and before I know it I'm going to be in my third trimester. Thrill and excitement is mixed with complete and utter horror. Am I going to get it right the first time? Do I have a choice? I only have one shot at raising this baby. I know I can do it and I'm so excited for the opportunity- I can't believe in less than 24 hours I will be able to put a name (and image) to this little bug crawling inside of me? Everyone asks, "Do you think it's a boy or girl? Which do you prefer." It's weird how I feel. I feel it's a girl, but every time I hear the heartbeat I wonder what kind of man he is going to grow up to be. I have no gut feeling and I have no preference. Like everybody says, "As long as it is healthy it doesn't matter." I agree. As long as it is healthy (and doesn't have too many arms or legs" I'm thrilled. Pray that I can sleep tonight. Until tomorrow...
